Let's Be Real. Really.

This lil post stemmed from a night of insomnia. I find that occasionally my mind just turns on when my body and the earth's rotation are telling me that I should go to sleep. A lot of those aforementioned nights are nights when I just have some good time reflecting on the Lord. Last night falls into that category.

A couple of Fridays ago, I headed off to Norman, Oklahoma, to attend a beautiful wedding. (Quick shout out to Misty and Gerhard! Woo!) The wedding was that Saturday, but I left the night before to visit with my friend, Abby, from Summer Project. It wasn't long into the evening before we sat down on her RA office couch, and I more or less just had a good cry throughout the conversation. Abby and I chatted for hours about life and love and the Lord, and how the Lord totally affects life and love in awesome (awesome: astonishing, stupendous, stunning. Not merely awesome: "Gnarly, dude!") ways.
Okay, so maybe depending on how well you know me, the idea of me crying on my friend's couch is not a stretch of your imagination. I'm a "crier." I haven't always been. Depending on how well you know Abby, you may be surprised that I was the one who did the crying and not she. She's a crier, too. We share that bond. And tissues, if they're scarce. ;)
I look up to Abby in many ways. She's a year older than me, has a huge heart for others, is a bit more spiritually mature, and she's a couple inches taller than I am. More, if she starts up a metro escalator before me...whoops. Did I mention it's late and that I have my father's sense of humor? Silliness aside, I admire the girl. And I got to spend a big chunk of my month in Russia at her side. She's become very dear to me, even though we only really became friends this summer.
I have lots of friends like Abby, with whom I feel comfortable crying, and who mutually feel comfortable crying around me. It makes me wonder if most people have friends like that, or if I have an extraordinarily vulnerable circle of friends. But crying's not the point. It's being able to talk about touchy, scary, difficult, sometimes shameful life issues with someone. Things that would cause some people to look away, or cringe, or change the subject to something more pleasant. It's about being real with each other.
I remember those crying moments with friends well. The time I was moved to tears in a Moscow coffee shop as Abby and I talked about the wonderful students we had met. Times with my best friends crying over broken relationships. Times when conversations dug down deep, and healing tears were shed. We are all broken people. I don't mean to be a cynic when I say that. I like life! Life is full of sweet moments and wonderful experiences. But no life on earth is untouched by struggles and disappointments. There are points in time when each of us needs to sit down and cry. Or at least have a good verbal vent with someone, if crying's not your style. (It's not everyone's style.)
"Girlfriend, it's okay to cry," said Abby, half-laughing. She gave me a pat on my back and continued, "Shortest verse in the bible: 'Jesus wept.'"
Abby and I sat back and marveled, recounting how Jesus also went through lots of difficult moments in his life. How he chose to become human and experience a world full of harshness. He didn't remain aloof, or skirt over touchy issues. He dug into people's messy, broken, dirty lives and loved them with a perfect heart. And when his friend Lazarus died, Jesus wept. Jesus was real.
Abby and I talked of the blessings God has given each of us.
God loved us enough to become a man and ultimately conquer sin and death in order for us to be with him forever. (Hello, Good News!)
God has blessed us with loving families and friends with whom we can seek counsel in times of need. We are not perfect family members, nor perfect friends, but we can right wrongs and show grace to others because we ourselves have been forgiven much.
I have dealt with my share of struggles these past few years. Lots of soul-searching and question marks. However, the reason I cried that night with Abby was not because of my anxious heart or my fears of the future. The tears came through talking out my issues with her, recognizing God's blessings in my life during difficult times. What mainly caused me to cry was seeing my Father, in his love and wisdom, taking care of me and disciplining me gently through the rough patches. How he cares for me!
Jesus said, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS." 
Jesus was saying, "Come on in! Come take a load off and tell me how you're doing. Here, let's sit on the sofa. Can I get you a drink of water? Tell me what's up."
I mentioned earlier that I wasn't always a crier. Back in high school I acted like I had it all together and everybody else were the ones that were weird and messed up. Ha. False. Freshman year of college was when I began to realize that putting up a front all the time is just lame. Superficiality is tiring. I didn't want to pretend like I was this well put-together girl all the time. I learned that I could find rest in the Lord. He lets me be real with him no matter what! And in time I learned that I should be real with others...to share my joy as well as my struggles.
Let's get real, readers! Don't you want a friend with whom you can be your happy, sad, silly, messy self? Well, Jesus is a good friend to begin with! What did he do? He led by example. He loved people. He never hid who he was. He was open. Some people scoffed at him and the things he said, but it didn't phase him. He kept on loving. And he loves YOU!
Be that loving friend with a shoulder to cry on. Or one with an open seat next to you if you have personal space issues. Be real! You'll find that you can, in turn, share your hardships with others. Now, disclaimer, don't get all "woe-is-me" around your friends all the time. Ecclesiastes 3 (or The Byrds song) reminds us that to everything there is a season. There's lots of time for joy and laughter!
Be a good listener! After my rant to Abby, I asked how she had been, and she caught me up on the latest in her life. (Abbs, you remarked how you're often "the listener" and it was nice to just sit with me and share your life, and I'm glad I could listen to you. Being a genuine listener is something that God began to tug at in me this summer and he used your good example to help me learn! As our buddy Pittman would say, "See how he brought that back around?") I'm thankful for the Lord helping me learn to listen.
Folks, there are many seasons in life, good and bad. Let us not put up a facade over the struggles, but let's allow God to gently mold us into pictures of his grace and understanding. Let us rest in the Lord's care and follow Jesus' example. Let's be good friends. And let's surround ourselves with friends we can laugh and cry with along the way. :)