Although I wouldn't consider myself an extrovert, I'm a generally friendly person, and it's not super difficult for me to befriend others. As I spent this year away from Texas Tech and my main hub of friends, I found myself spending a lot more time alone. As a result, loneliness crept its way into my life. It was a bit of a shadow that followed me through my days. For those familiar with "The 5 Love Languages," quality time is my primary love language. In other words, I feel most loved when I am spending time with people. I am fueled by friendships and social interaction. So, when my friend-fuel was hard to come by, my spirit kinda tanked.
As I moved down to Midland in April, I was so excited to be closer to some of my friends! Lubbock's just under a two-hour drive away, and I looked forward to May when some of my Tech friends who grew up in Midland came home for the summer. However, my loneliness seemed to follow me down from Flower Mound.
I have gotten to see some of my old friends from Tech, and that's been a blast. And yes, I've made some new friends here in Midland, too. But I've realized during the bouts of feeling lonely that I shouldn't rely quite so heavily on people and friendships to keep me fueled up in life.
Here's what God has taught me in the past few months: "HELLO, LAURA BETH, you're NOT alone."
Okay, okay, as a Christian, that ought to be a no-brainer for me. God is omnipresent. The bible clearly states that the Lord is with us always, but sometimes loneliness creeps its way inside in spite of that truth. Sometimes I feel really unfulfilled when spending time all alone. How can I be glorifying God when I'm just chilling by myself? How does one make solitude less depressing?
I have gotten to see some of my old friends from Tech, and that's been a blast. And yes, I've made some new friends here in Midland, too. But I've realized during the bouts of feeling lonely that I shouldn't rely quite so heavily on people and friendships to keep me fueled up in life.
Here's what God has taught me in the past few months: "HELLO, LAURA BETH, you're NOT alone."
Okay, okay, as a Christian, that ought to be a no-brainer for me. God is omnipresent. The bible clearly states that the Lord is with us always, but sometimes loneliness creeps its way inside in spite of that truth. Sometimes I feel really unfulfilled when spending time all alone. How can I be glorifying God when I'm just chilling by myself? How does one make solitude less depressing?
My mom and I have talked about my loneliness on occasion. Here's a paraphrase of her response to me a while back:
It's always been a bit of a struggle for me to have regular "quiet times" with the Lord, but this summer I have been doing a lot better- to be frank, it's often because I'm bored and my friends are busy. Ha. But that's the cool thing about God! He perfectly orchestrates times and circumstances in our lives (Sometimes the circumstances aren't sunshine and rainbows.) that draw us closer to Him. This summer, He and I are growing closer than ever! That is how it should be. It has become quite apparent to me that when I earnestly seek to spend time with God, my spirit is much more at ease with life in general. Even if crazy stuff is going on around me, or there is friend drama, or I'm feeling homesick, I feel at rest with the Lord when He and I spend good chunks of time in fellowship.
When we find ourselves in a time/place where close friends are not nearby, we don't have to feel lonely. Rather-- we should not feel alone because we are not alone. We have a perfect Companion who will never leave our side. Unlike humans, God's love and companionship will never fade or falter.
"Laura, it's good to get used to being by yourself. When I lived in Hungary and missed my family and friends at home, I'd tell myself things like, 'Jesus and I are going to run errands together. Jesus and I are going to go for a walk.' Jesus really is always with us, so acknowledging it helps us from feeling lonely!"The truth is, solitude is a good thing. Jesus himself made a point to spend time away from others so he could rest and connect with his Heavenly Father. Dallas Willard mentioned the importance of solitude for Christians in The Spirit of the Disciplines:
"The life alienated from God collapses when deprived of its support from the sin-laden world. But the life in tune with God is actually nurtured by time spent alone."Solitude gives us a chance to talk to no one but the Lord. It gives us a chance to introspect, to reflect, to confess sin. If we're always running to people or activities to keep ourselves from feeling alone, then where is our reliance on the Holy Spirit? Alone time helps us stay in sync with God, and it helps us re-prioritize parts of our life that can become big distractions from Him.
It's always been a bit of a struggle for me to have regular "quiet times" with the Lord, but this summer I have been doing a lot better- to be frank, it's often because I'm bored and my friends are busy. Ha. But that's the cool thing about God! He perfectly orchestrates times and circumstances in our lives (Sometimes the circumstances aren't sunshine and rainbows.) that draw us closer to Him. This summer, He and I are growing closer than ever! That is how it should be. It has become quite apparent to me that when I earnestly seek to spend time with God, my spirit is much more at ease with life in general. Even if crazy stuff is going on around me, or there is friend drama, or I'm feeling homesick, I feel at rest with the Lord when He and I spend good chunks of time in fellowship.
When we find ourselves in a time/place where close friends are not nearby, we don't have to feel lonely. Rather-- we should not feel alone because we are not alone. We have a perfect Companion who will never leave our side. Unlike humans, God's love and companionship will never fade or falter.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
-Psalm 139:7-10
P.S. I'll give a virtual high-five to the first person who can guess the origin of the title quote. :)
