"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated."

Friends make life more fun. God has blessed me with an immensely wonderful group of friends! But what happens when friends are far away and solitude is imminent? I have learned that God himself is the best companion of all.

Although I wouldn't consider myself an extrovert, I'm a generally friendly person, and it's not super difficult for me to befriend others. As I spent this year away from Texas Tech and my main hub of friends, I found myself spending a lot more time alone. As a result, loneliness crept its way into my life. It was a bit of a shadow that followed me through my days. For those familiar with "The 5 Love Languages," quality time is my primary love language. In other words, I feel most loved when I am spending time with people. I am fueled by friendships and social interaction. So, when my friend-fuel was hard to come by, my spirit kinda tanked. 

As I moved down to Midland in April, I was so excited to be closer to some of my friends! Lubbock's just under a two-hour drive away, and I looked forward to May when some of my Tech friends who grew up in Midland came home for the summer. However, my loneliness seemed to follow me down from Flower Mound. 
I have gotten to see some of my old friends from Tech, and that's been a blast. And yes, I've made some new friends here in Midland, too. But I've realized during the bouts of feeling lonely that I shouldn't rely quite so heavily on people and friendships to keep me fueled up in life.


Here's what God has taught me in the past few months: "HELLO, LAURA BETH, you're NOT alone."


Okay, okay, as a Christian, that ought to be a no-brainer for me. God is omnipresent. The bible clearly states that the Lord is with us always, but sometimes loneliness creeps its way inside in spite of that truth. Sometimes I feel really unfulfilled when spending time all alone. How can I be glorifying God when I'm just chilling by myself? How does one make solitude less depressing?

My mom and I have talked about my loneliness on occasion. Here's a paraphrase of her response to me a while back:

"Laura, it's good to get used to being by yourself. When I lived in Hungary and missed my family and friends at home, I'd tell myself things like, 'Jesus and I are going to run errands together. Jesus and I are going to go for a walk.' Jesus really is always with us, so acknowledging it helps us from feeling lonely!"

The truth is, solitude is a good thing. Jesus himself made a point to spend time away from others so he could rest and connect with his Heavenly Father. Dallas Willard mentioned the importance of solitude for Christians in The Spirit of the Disciplines: 

 "The life alienated from God collapses when deprived of its support from the sin-laden world. But the life in tune with God is actually nurtured by time spent alone."

Solitude gives us a chance to talk to no one but the Lord. It gives us a chance to introspect, to reflect, to confess sin. If we're always running to people or activities to keep ourselves from feeling alone, then where is our reliance on the Holy Spirit? Alone time helps us stay in sync with God, and it helps us re-prioritize parts of our life that can become big distractions from Him.


It's always been a bit of a struggle for me to have regular "quiet times" with the Lord, but this summer I have been doing a lot better- to be frank, it's often because I'm bored and my friends are busy. Ha. But that's the cool thing about God! He perfectly orchestrates times and circumstances in our lives (Sometimes the circumstances aren't sunshine and rainbows.) that draw us closer to Him. This summer, He and I are growing closer than ever! That is how it should be. It has become quite apparent to me that when I earnestly seek to spend time with God, my spirit is much more at ease with life in general. Even if crazy stuff is going on around me, or there is friend drama, or I'm feeling homesick, I feel at rest with the Lord when He and I spend good chunks of time in fellowship.
When we find ourselves in a time/place where close friends are not nearby, we don't have to feel lonely. Rather-- we should not feel alone because we are not alone. We have a perfect Companion who will never leave our side. Unlike humans, God's love and companionship will never fade or falter.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

-Psalm 139:7-10

P.S. I'll give a virtual high-five to the first person who can guess the origin of the title quote. :)

Laura's Summer Reading List

I love to read! My family instilled in me a love of books at an early age. However, I am not as avid a reader as I used to be. However, I have pledged to change that! This summer I intend to read lots of books before I return to college life in the fall (to read big textbooks). Here are my picks for my personal summer reading:

The Spirit of the Disciplines - Dallas Willard
I have been working on this particular book for a long time now. A friend gave it to me as a gift during my freshman year at Tech. It's really enjoyable, but I find it to be one of those books I have to take in chunks. Determined to finally finish it! :)

The Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom
I read this in eighth grade and absolutely loved it! Corrie Ten Boom wrote about her personal experience as a Christian during the Holocaust. It's really moving, and a true testament to the faithfulness of the Lord amidst even the most horrific circumstances. I hope to glean more out of it this second time through.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Yes, the children's book. Yes, I want to read it again (for probably the 5th time). It's one of my favorite stories, and it's been too long since I last read it. Memories are beginning to flood back from Mrs. Potaczek's 5th grade reading class...

The Great Divorce - C.S. Lewis
C.S. Lewis: One of my favorite authors/apoligists/dead Englishmen! I actually gave this as a senior gift to a couple of friends, but I haven't read it yet. (If anyone would like to get me a boxed set of the classic works of C.S. Lewis for Christmas, I will bake you a cake.)

Choosing Gratitude - Nancy Leigh DeMoss
I got this book from my brother and sister-in-law for my birthday! I'm excited to dig into it, because its subject is one of the big themes that God has been teaching me this year. :)

And...If I finish all of those...

The Hunger Games series - Suzanne Collins
I really want to read the books before I see the movie...we'll see if that actually happens.

There you have it! I hope I will have time for all of these books! Find some time in your summer schedule to pick up a good book, find a cozy place to sit, grab a hot beverage (or an iced beverage...this is Texas, after all.), relax, and read!

-Laura

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Boy, a lot can change in a couple of months.

I turned 21.

I moved to Midland.

On the road with Nana (my car) and Dasha (my matryoshka).

I started two new jobs. (And they're both fun. Score.)

My cousin Natalie is growing up and graduating high school...

Gorgeous Natalie and me at her senior oral presentation.

Whoa.

Change....
Change is part of life. Everybody experiences it. I've had what seems like a deluge of change in my life this year. But, as God has drilled into my head, life is pretty unexpected. We can be burdened by changes, or we can embrace them with gratitude.
The Lord has this funny way of talking to me. In the past month or two, the same life lesson has appeared in front of me in lots of different ways. Whether it's been through a book, through my cousin's senior thesis, or through a small group study, these things are echoed: Hold on to faith. Take the unexpected and thank God for it. Depend on Him.

I recently read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Hey, you, reader. Yeah, you: Go buy/borrow a copy. Yes, even if you're a guy, just take off the dust cover and it won't look so girly. :) Her story really touched me. The theme of her book is giving thanks for God's gifts in our lives. Thankfulness for the good and thankfulness for the bad. Thankfulness for the mundane and thankfulness for the grand-in-scale. The word for giving thanks in Greek is εὐχαριστέω. Eucharisteo. I now have a note on my iPhone dedicated to my very own 1,000 gifts. I learned rather quickly that it is really difficult to jot down the hurtful or annoying things that happen around me. But, those things challenge me to search for the good in every situation. I get the chance to open my eyes to the truth that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28, emphasis added)

Even when things don't happen as planned, we Christ-followers can remain hopeful. Take my recent move for example: it was a rather spur-of-the-moment decision, brought upon by a situation in my family. I've come to help take care of my grandma part-time because she needs a bit more assistance here and there. It was quite a unique opportunity to serve my family, and to also get unstuck from the bit of the rut I slipped back into this semester. It was kinda scary to move a few hundred miles away to a place I've never lived! Seriously, the decision and the move took place within a couple weeks. Crazy? A little. But let me tell ya: what a blessing it has been! God plopped this opportunity right in my lap, and I mustered up enough courage to say "Yes!" to him. (Okay, it wasn't an emphatic yes...more like an, "Uh, are you sure, Lord? I guess I can try this...") I pushed away my fear and feelings of uncertainty, and I went for it! I have been so encouraged by it all. Change of pace, change of scenery, change of my outlook. It has been easy to thank God for these changes.

What about the times when we don't want to give thanks? What do we do when bad stuff happens? To borrow a quote from one of my very favorite movies (The Princess Bride), "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." Life happens, and often it's painful. Sure, a life of following Christ brings lots of joy, but it doesn't eliminate trials. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..." (James 1:2, emphasis added) We are told in scripture that we will experience trials in our lives, it's not an if statement. So how do we turn our trials into joy? By giving thanks. Eucharisteo. Easier said than done.

I'm naturally self-focused. When something bad happens, I automatically think, why did this happen to me? Those last two words say a lot: "to me." But my view of this world is far narrower than God's view. He sees all and knows all. It's rather silly to throw myself a pity party about something unexpected that I don't like. What I ought to do is step back and examine what God wants me to learn out of these situations. What does he have up his sleeve? He tends to work in ways that are unpredictable to us. He often works in ways that we only see in hindsight. I have to break my habit of selfishness in order to give thanks for the bad, scary stuff. All of it is God's grace.

Natalie's senior thesis was about expectations. She made the case that the only things we can completely rely on are truths of God: God is faithful, and God is good. One of her illustrations of correct expectations came from the book of Daniel: the story of Shadrach Meshach, and Abednego. These three men trusted God in the face of death. They believed that God would be faithful and that he would use their situation for his glory.

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O King. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."  

-Daniel 3:17-18

God did his little echo trick with this story. It came up in my bible study the week after Natalie's oral. The author of the study, Jennifer Rothschild, pointed out the significance of how God saved Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: he didn't deliver them from the fiery furnace- he delivered them through the fiery furnace. God was completely capable of sending a downpour from heaven to put out the blaze, but he chose for his servants to walk into the fire and come out unscathed. Rothschild likened this to our unexpected trials. Sometimes God allows us to walk through trials rather than delivering us from them. When tough stuff happens, our characters are refined, and if we pay attention, we learn more about God's character.

When change comes my way (and there is always more in store), I want to remember these lessons! Gratitude, faith, dependence on the Lord.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Upcoming ch-ch-changes:

My cousin Julie is coming home from A&M soon! I can't wait to be living with both of my favorite girl cousins this summer!

And, the best news of late: 

It's for real, guys. I'm readmitted to Texas Tech University for fall 2012. BACK TO LUBBOCK!

Elation! Joy! Big smiles! Cue Tech fight song! :)

Thanking God for all that he gives me!

-Laura

Save the Love Letter! (Homage to Snail Mail)

Well folks, Valentine's Day has come again! What an interesting holiday it is. I think that there are two camps of people when it comes to this day celebrating love. Those who are bitter about it, and those who embrace it. There don't seem to be many people who camp out in the middle ground. Well, I'm an embracer. I don't give it a squeeze-the-life-out-of-it embrace, but certainly a warm, friendly hug. Let's be real: what girl doesn't like hearts and and chocolate and flowers and the idea of love? The other night, I texted my friend, Xochitl, to ask her for her address. In her excitement about receiving a letter she replied, "I love snail mail." I do, too! I love sending and receiving things in the mail! What better time than Valentine's Day to send something to someone you care about? Sorry, X, your valentine will most likely arrive to you on the 15th...but it's the thought that counts, right?

Yes, yes, I was a bit tardy in picking out and sending valentines for loved ones this year. Let me tell y'all, the greeting card aisle at Target on the weekend before Valentine's day is not a place in which you want to get stuck- especially if you are indecisive like me. This one aisle was teeming with all sorts of frantic shoppers: parents telling their kids to pick out cards for their family members and/or teacher, wives choosing cards for their husbands, grandmothers reaching for the movie character-themed valentines for grandkids, and that one brave man, determined to fight through the estrogen-charged crowd to find a card for his sweetheart...utter chaos, I tell you. I had the agenda of looking for valentines for my parents, which were inconveniently sectioned at the very bottom of the tall shelves, smack in the middle of all the action. In order to examine my choices, I had to assume an awkward squatting position, dodge the occasional arm-reach, and as I got up, I did this weird, pivoting, slow-to-rise maneuver to avoid any embarrassing bumps into strangers. Phew. Fortunately, I must say that I was able to find some pretty fantastic cards.

The greeting card. What an interesting concept! It's a whole business of people writing and designing cards for other people...to give to other people, who read them, and they are generally supposed to evoke a warm, fuzzy feeling upon their reception. Makes me think of two things: Hallmark commercials, and 500 Days of Summer.
If there is anyone out there as sappy as me, they just might tune in to those special Hallmark Hall of Fame TV movies that play on the occasional Sunday evening. During the course of the evening, one is subjected to the viewing the sweetest greeting card commercials ever created, that are expertly crafted to tug on the toughest of heartstrings.
I also picture the office of a greeting card company, like in 500 Days of Summer. Some Joseph Gordon-Levitt guy and his quirky bunch of coworkers gathered in a conference room, spouting out ideas, brainstorming for the perfect message. Corny ones, mushy ones, one-liners that just make you say, "Aww!"

I love the mail. I love everything about sending letters, cards, and/or packages to special people. I always have. There's a romantic quality about sending/receiving something in the mail that does not exist via the internet or the smart phone. Something so personal about reading a hand-written message...checking your mailbox to find one thing, just for you, that isn't a bill or an advertisement. Nowadays, it seems to be a means of communication all but forgotten. Left behind by the fast-paced, instant-gratification society that we live in.
Does anyone else out there appreciate snail mail? Surely there are some romantics left out there. Well, obviously, the greeting card industry is still afloat and raking in the dough when holidays arrive. There are still those who give cards, who send letters. But if you're sitting at your computer and you haven't used the United States Postal Service in a while, I challenge you to get out some paper, find a pen, and use that cursive that you learned in third grade (okay...maybe just stick to print if your cursive is illegible...) to write to a faraway friend or family member! Or, let a card say the words you can't seem to jot out. Heck, box up a little gift and ship it off to a loved one. Send a little snail mail to someone special! Even if your letter/card/parcel is sent after Valentine's Day, the gesture won't go unnoticed.

Let's show our love to one another this year! Love isn't a feeling. Love is sacrifice, action, laying down your own wants for the good of someone else. I recently watched this video of one of my new favorite musicians, Josh Garrels. He gives his thoughts on love, and thoughts on writing songs about it. Take a look! (and check out his music!)

Share the love! Send some snail mail!
Happy Valentine's Day to all of you :)

-Laura
John 15:13